MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE!!!!

(this one may go in different directions, so try to keep up)

Okay, look.  I’m not a religious person.  In fact…I’m an Atheist.  More to the point, I just don’t believe in organized religion.  Lets face it, throughout human history, religion has been a controversial part of our society.  Think of all the wars and senseless murders that have been done in the name of religion.  Atrocities of all manner have been committed under the guise of religion.  Isn’t that antithetical to the true meaning of religion, and it’s influence?

Look at all the different religions available to us (we humans love variety):  Catholic; Baptist; Jewish; Protestant; Episcopal; Muslim; Buddhism; Mormonism; Hinduism; The Snake lovers; Men in Black; Satanism; Socialism; the list goes on and on!  Now, how is this possible if there is supposed to be one true God?  I know what you’re thinking….”But Hendo…don’t you have a theory on all of this?”  The answer is a resounding…”I do, my loyal subjects!”  And here it is…

Initially, I think religion started off as a pretty good thing.  But man being the creature that he is, the perversion quickly set in.  Somewhere along the line, some dude in a dress said “hey…religion is pretty cool, but I really would like [insert human desire here].”  Several people agreed, but most didn’t.  This splintered the religious belief, so a new religion was formed to accommodate this new exception.  Time goes on, and it happens again.  Next thing you know, a few millenniums later, you have several different spin offs of the original religion.  Some split from the splinters!  Today, there are so many different religions, that I can’t even count them all.  Wait…here’s my calculator.  College math should come in handy here.  Let’s see, one divided by this, times that with an exponent of….ERROR!  WHAT?!  Even my trusty Technology God gave up on trying to figure that shit out.  Sheesh!

So, where do we stand?  Well, if we get down to the basic religious values of any flavor, you get …be nice to people; help each other out; and a set of other acceptable moral values that in fact, sound pretty good.  Now I may not believe in religion, but I do believe in common sense and that being good to people is always a good thing.  I’m also not about to sit here and chastise anyone that feels that going to church on a regular basis is helpful to them.  I mean…if you feel that this kind of communal gathering is helpful to you, then by all means do it.  How can it be wrong?  No one can tell you what feels good to you, so if it’s something that you think helps you…enjoy!  It’s a social gathering of like-minded people, all with faults and concerns.  Having someone to talk with, is always a good thing.  Wait…collection plate?  You gotta pay for this?  Well, hell…it’s got to be better than some overpriced psychologist, any day of the week.  Hold on a second…’social gathering’, ‘talk with friends’…isn’t this what Facebook is for?  Great!  Add another religion to the list…Facebook!

Now you know my theories on religion.  I’m not against it per say, but I’m definitely not a follower.  This brings me to the whole ‘Merry Christmas’ thing.  Yes, Christmas is a religious holiday.  No matter what anyone says about it, it’s a religious thing.  Almost everyone celebrates it, whether they have the faith or not.  Hell, I used to celebrate it!  It used to be one of my favorite times of the year!  However, in this day and age, its merely just a marketing ploy to get people to buy a bunch of needless shit.  In fact, if it wasn’t a religious holiday prior to being a marketing tool, I would say that it is just as bad as Valentines day.  But I digress.

I think that Christmas time is still a wonderful thing to the human race.  There is a lot of positive feelings this time of year, and going back to ‘helping people out’, it’s one of the last bastions of hope that many people have.  So why do we have a campaign to end Christmas, and turn it into just “Holiday”, or whatever the PC term is?  These are the most useless people in society!  Look, if you’re out buying a Christmas tree, and one of these idiots come up and say “hey, what kind of holiday tree are you getting?”  You have my permission to slap the shit out of them.  As a matter of fact, slap them twice.  Now, I don’t advocate violence.  This is strictly a ‘take care of my brother’ scenario.  They have obviously strayed so far from common sense, that an intervention is definitely in order.  It’s fucking Christmas!  And it’s lost its religious connotations long ago, in civil society.  Saying Christmas doesn’t hurt anyone’s feelings, and if it does…fuck’em!

I don’t celebrate Christmas.  It’s not because I don’t believe in the spirit of it, it’s for personal reasons.  Long ago, I inadvertently lost the ability to share Christmas with my daughter.  It actually took several years for me to come to grips with that.  As a parent, you realize that Christmas is for the children.  Once you’ve celebrated Christmas with your child, you don’t want to celebrate it any other way.  At least that’s my case.  I won’t celebrate Christmas again, unless my daughter is with me.  That’s my choice.  Does that mean that I’m upset that other people celebrate it?  Hell no!  Why would I use my suffering to hinder someones happiness?  That’s just wrong, and I didn’t need a religion to tell me that.  I say Merry Christmas, because it is Christmas.  I say, “that’s a beautiful Christmas tree”, because that’s what it is.  I may not celebrate it, but I still understand the spirit of it.

So here’s the ‘take away’ from all this babble:

1. Don’t give me your religious spiel.  I just don’t care about it.  If it works for you, then I’m happy for you, but don’t expect me to tag along.
2. Slap the idiot that tries to get you on the PC version of Christmas.  They need the help.  Actually, slap them twice, then educate them on the true meaning of Christmas.
3. Do everything possible not to lose your ability to spend time with your children.  Christmas is a special time, and it should be spent with your kids.
4. Christmas isn’t really about giving.  It’s about spending time with your family and friends.  It could be sitting at a bar watching a game, or even playing mailbox baseball with the fella’s.

I am King Hendo.  Merry Christmas to all of you!!!  Be good to each other, and help someone that needs it.